so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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