I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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