the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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