i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
