Pants 0. Shit 1.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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