3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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