it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
