i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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