Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she peed on how many people?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
