new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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