So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
