I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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