rhymes with "ouble enetration"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize