Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
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