I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
