We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He literally asked permission to hit on me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
