The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
