i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
