i will never coherently bang her
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize