Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
