She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
