dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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