Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
