should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
