so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
