I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize