this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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