I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
