Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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