so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
