My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize