im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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