His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize