Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
