I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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