bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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