You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
