All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
