yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
