she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
