Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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