Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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