i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
