I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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