theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
