Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
