I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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