Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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