he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize