Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
