Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
love makes seman taste better
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
