yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
