I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm determined to sit on that face.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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