After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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