I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
