Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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