there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
