I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
